My Rocky Night

The night that Rocky was born was 38 years ago and I was there to witness the birth of this very buff baby.  I was only born 20 years ago, so all I had to do was take a jump to the left, a step to the right, put my hands on my hips, bring my knees in tight, and pelvic thrust my way into a time warp.  I arrived at my desired time warp destination I found myself to be a little disoriented from the trip.  At Studio 35, there was no where to park my car, so I circled around the theater, and on my first right turn I saw two people staring at me from the side of the building, understandably, I sped up the car and quickly made my way around the building.  I then parked on the left side of Studio 35 and texted James for help.  James was my backstage ticket for the night because he plays the character Dr. Frank-n-Furter in the show.  (see his life as an actor interview here.)

       1111Please don’t tell me behind the studio!


1Ok as long as there are no creepy people staring at me this time.  They were probably just actors anyway.

aaaaa11111 (2)Yes, this is the perfect spot!  It’s got the brightest street lamp and the house with the lights on!

  34234BING! The show is starting without me!


2 (2)Hello guy in red sweatshirt I don’t know, just taking my usual pitch black jog through the neighborhood!

fskdfjlskdfjI really hope I locked my car, because I refuse to run back there.

When I reached the box office, I politely said that James would be here any second.  The ticket attendant nodded and let me wait.  Shortly after, James swung open the door with my ticket in his hand.  I looked up at him and noticed black eye shadow all the way up to his eyebrows plus a broad smile of red lipstick.  He handed me my ticket and told me not to lose it, and then welcomed me inside to join the party.

I was confused to see a bar and tables when I walked in.  I had been expecting rows of fabric covered seats, not wooden bar stools.  I only saw one flat screen above the bar and the Ohio State game was playing so that was a nice comfort.  James gave me a quick tour and said I could either wait in the theater or mingle at the bar, so I chose to sit at the bar.  The studio slash bar was rather small and I wasn’t sure where to sit so I sat on a bar stool and watched the end of the game.  The Buckeyes were winning as usual; the two people next to me weren’t as excited as I was apparently because I didn’t hear any cheering from them when we made a touchdown.  A lady with long curly brunette hair asked me if I wanted anything and I politely told her no.  She seemed incredibly surprised that I had turned down her offer.

The next thing I know, the channel gets changed and the Rocky Horror Picture show is now presented on the screen, featuring the Fishnet Mafia!  The Fishnet Mafia is a cast that shadow casts the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  They bring you laughter and extreme sarcasm monthly at Studio 35.   As for shadow casting, a film is being played in the background and there are live actors mocking everything on the screen behind them.  These actors are helping you view the terribly directed film in a whole new humorous light.

Finally the pre- show was about to start, so I made my way to the back of the bar and went inside the theater.  I finally saw the image I expected when I walked into studio 35, about 160 fabricated seats and a large white screen sheet, worth more than all the actors combined, apparently.  I hear the screen was only a $1.69 at Wal-mart, which makes me think the director doesn’t like them.  When I walked into the theater, I walked looked everywhere foe someone appearing  normal.  Pretty much everyone was in costume either as a character in the show or just in a novelty costume they picked up at some standard shop.  I finally found a young couple in the back to sit next to because they looked as normal as I did, which isn’t saying much.  Being the first time I had ever watched Rocky Horror Picture Show I really didn’t know what to expect, the only thing I knew for sure was that you got to throw things during the show, so I figured the back row was the safest.

Suddenly I noticed a women walking up and down the isles with several brown paper bags.  The two normal strangers next to me told that the stuff that we get to throw was in the bag.  I smiled and then bought one enthusiastically from the bag lady.  I grabbed a bag and handed her a dollar.  The contents of the bag had one newspaper, a noise maker, a piece of toast, a roll of toilet paper, and a few playing cards.  I’m not going to lie; I was tempted to eat the toast.  I’m just glad I didn’t because it was more fun to throw it.  Next in this crazy line up, is the Director, Cora, who started her speech by saying how we all just wasted $10 to see the worst sci-fi show ever created.  I have never heard a director talk down their show before, but this director found a way to shadow cast the show and bring it to life.

The director then started to take the show into her own hands.  As she projected her voice across the theater, she got everyone or at least all the virgins on their feet and got them involved in some very suggestive games.  She called this “Sacrificing the Virgins.”  She told all the virgins to get on the stage and about 20- 30 people ran right on up there without hesitation.  I decided to sit this one out, the title of this assembly frightened me.  The games were things like making animal noises in an orgasmic fashion, and now I will never be able to look at a chicken the same way.  I thought about participating on the stage, but it was just more entertaining to watch other people act ridiculous.

Before we start to dive into the Rocky Horror Experience, some prior knowledge is necessary.  Rocky Horror Picture Show is a Musical, that really gets your heart racing.  Brad and Janet are a couple madly in love, who happen to stumble upon Dr. Frank-n-Futur’s mansion of endless pleasure!  They are welcomed into his home and then get to witness the miraculous birth of Rocky!  Rocky was just a pile of bones but thanks to Dr. Frank-n-Furter his new creation can now sexually pleasure him at all times of the day.  The story then goes on to deceitful and downright clever moments.

Finally, the show was starting!  The first thing you see is a pair of lips singing, and first I thought that was creative but it got really creepy after it started getting closer to you.  The shadow cast was replacing lyrics and women dressed in lingerie and a black feather boa, was dancing in front of the screen.  Next we meet the narrator of the show essentially, or the guy with no neck.  Every time the narrator would pause or say a certain phrase the shadow cast would make fun of the fact that he had no visible neck.  After the no neck guy, the opening scene was a wedding, so automatically I was set at ease.  We watched Janet a.k.a Slut and Brad a.k.a Asshole, talk about the wedding and suddenly they broke into song.  The shadow cast immediately got loud and sang along plus adding their own add libs to make it better.  I heard Janet about 58 times before the song was over.  As the show progressed jokes were made the entire time, the spotlight guy made most of the jokes.  Shortly after the spotlight guy cracked some jokes, one of the cast members sat two seats from me and yelled them out even louder.  At first he sounded like Fred Flintstone, from those live movies they made.  I was happy he was there because it was easier for me to hear the hilarious jokes.

As for the grab bag, we used the news paper, because Janet (Slut) and Brad (Asshole) got stuck in a storm and left their car, so they put newspaper over their heads to stay dry.  Everyone in the audience copied them.  The song they sang lasted long enough to disintegrate their newspapers, but mine was still dangling over my head.  The next item we used was the noise maker; we did this after the welcome to Transylvania speech, from Dr. Frank-n-Furter.  Next up was the toilet paper; we threw this in whatever direction we wanted to when Brad yells out “Great Scott!”  That was the best moment of the whole show because suddenly all you see is toilet paper going in every direction, and it was completely legal!  After that excitement in the air, everyone was sitting at the dinner table and being very quiet and awkward really.  It was a family dinner that I would have lost my appetite for, considering Dr. Frank-n-Furter carved the over sized ham with a small chainsaw!

Nonetheless, we were finally able to throw our toast.  We threw the toasted bread when they made a toast at a very unorthodox dinner party.  Some people broke their slice in pieces and made an even better effect, not to mention a bigger mess.  Then last but not least, we got to throw our playing cards because of Dr. Frank-n-Furter singing “cards for sorrow, cards for pain….”  If I had caught on sooner, I would have thrown the cards in time with the music.

The show by itself is very poorly directed and was named the worst sci-fi musical in 1975 by all the critics.  However, Fishnet Mafia has given a group of misfits, a place to just belong.  The Fishnet Mafia is a Family and they have brought thousands of people together for over 38 years.  They are truly the reason why Rocky Horror Picture Show is still a considered one of the Classics.  That is how the Fishnet Mafia took me through a time warp and showed me the true Horrors of Rocky and I enjoyed every last second of it.  For not knowing what to expect, they took me for a very exhilarating ride.  Thank you Fishnet Mafia for bringing Rocky Horror Picture Show back to life.

downloadWritten by Sara Harris


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